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I came across this letter from our mom, Yvonne Fellows.  Written almost 36 years ago, I wanted to share this with family and readers. The picture below is one I could easily find to add to this post.

“TO MY CHILDREN

“Nov. 6, 1976

“This morning I was pondering Mary Ellen Walton’s TV wedding  and the warmth that encompasses that family.    (The reference is to the weekly TV show, “The Waltons”)

“So?  What do they have we don’t have?

(We both have) “Taunting – love – teasing – loyalty – bickering – laughter – anger – warmth

“all wrapped up in a soft, flexible, shape-this-way, pull-that-way, expandable, expanding, shrinkable, shrinking, tightening, loosening, giving, taking, up/down/in/out, “bop-you-on-the-head” one moment, “put your arms around me” the next moment

“FAMILY

“I am a proud mother of five beautiful individuals, each a person of his/her own choosing, each with special needs, special talents and accomplishment; sharing help, comfort and support as you each pass through your own moment of need or crisis; sharing your joys and happiness.

“Love you all,

“Mom (Yvonne Fellows)”

(Several times later in pen she wrote in pen: “I renew this statement this 6th of August, 1994.  Again, Love to all Mom (now a widow)

“Renewed April 7, 1995 as Mrs. Frank Perrault. And reread Oct. 4, 2000. Then Aug. 25 2002 and 3/26/05″

Les and Yvonne Fellows with Grandson, Dan Patterson.
November 1981

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Home

Carr Court, Goffstown, NH where I lived in my formative years.

What is “home”?  I have so many:  New England is my ancestral home.  Florida as a kid and young adult.  The Inland Empire is my emotional and spiritual home.  The Midwest and Iowa are where we have lived, raised our children, and have attachments, memories.  A piece of me will always be here: Quivera Wildlife Refuge, The Ark River, Coronado Heights, The Cimarron Trail, Dillon Nature Center, the lovely sand roads full of wildlife all of Kansas; and Hanging Bog, Northeast and Southeast Iowa, ICNC, 1511 and 1080.

But, I am going home – home to New Hampshire. I’ll see what is there that is calling me.  In part it is to see Jane White, a dear friend of Mom and Dad’s who is ill yet full of life.  Part to see nieces and their children. Part to visit grave sites and go up Tibbetts Hill to the house. Part….Guess I’ll see.

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Apologies to the Scots for the poor spelling above.  The moon over Rumney, NH,  is stunning.  But, Susan T. wonders why it is “the-ah” in the south east sky instead of over the church. Drive from Tom and Mary’s was pretty and uneventful. Clouds kept building and we had some rain going over the Kancamagus Highway. Drove past the “once-was-Old-Man-in-the-Mountain.”

WWIT scenarios:  On to Rumney as the clouds closed in.  Well, I certainly got the day wrong – ice cream social was Saturday, not today!  WWIT number  two. Number one was reading the murder mystery in a rambling farmhouse on a dark and stormy night!  What WAS I thinking?

Susan and Jim are so good to see, visit with.  The familiar, playful and gentle teasing.  She is the queen certainly – all in a good way.  Fabulous dinner after a beer and Tanqueray.  Fish. asparagus. rice pilaf.  Their good friend, Nancy, who grew up in Rumney but who now lives in California is here and she and Susan are so charming to watch interact.  They feed off each other, keep each other in line and plot playful antics.  Susan said that when they first met,they just hit it off.

At the swim hole

A refreshing swim at the swim hole which on this day is flowing fast from the rains of the night before.

Monday, July 26 – A  late start after a late night dinner.  Up Mt. Stinson past wonderful for sale homes!  Lovely forest that changed with elevation.  Checkerberry (winterberry), trillium, princess pine (shining club moss), Indian pipes, sweet fern. Rocks!  Birch, alders, pines, hemlocks, balsams. We heard a thrush as we started and finished.  Mom came to mind, as I heard thrushes the year she died while we were on our first llama trek.  Windy on top with view to Lakes south and west.  Ski slopes and the village of Rumney below. 

Rumney from Mt. Stinson

WWIT number 3 – my knee brace is safely tucked in a drawer in CR.  Not much help going up and down the mountain.

In the afternoon, we began to “brush out” a place in the back that has granite squares, pile of bricks and a wonderful clump of birches, a balsam, a pine and some Pagoda dogwood. It will look really nice when cleaned out. Cate got to use the Kubota machine to drag away brush.  Jim and Susan are so good about helping to guide her.

Fabulous dinner with Arrowwood wines and carrot cake.  Lovely conversations.

Tuesday, July 27 – Nancy’s 27th birthday.  Beautiful day, again.  I had forgotten that Susan re-arranges plans during the night.  So, Jim stayed with Rich and me while Susan took Cate to Manchester, did some work at the store and came back with a friend of Cate’s.  We really brushed out the small area, cut up larger trees, hammered the Japanese barberry and Russian olive.  The area looks splendid. 

Revealing the birch clump

Nice to work as a team.

In the afternoon we met John Clark, a school friend and high school colleague and college fellow, who is now AD at PSU. He showed us the new ice arena and then took us to meet President Steen and Sylvia Bryant, director of advancement.  Very thoughtful listeners.  Showed us a restored picture of Plymouth valley and the different land use.  Susan had just told me about how the land had been cleared in the 1820′s for sheep production.  John showed us around the campus and then explained how he was instrumental in changing the campus to a walking one that opened up the views to the mountains.  He is just right for his position.  He waves to everyone, greets them and is an excellent ambassador for the University.  President Steen and Sylvia were impressive and welcoming.  Good contact.

Supper was at a little hamburger stand reminiscent of yesteryear.  Then, to an ice cream stand for lovely lemon sherbert.  yummmm.

Nice visit here to Rumney and the Turbynes.

Wednesday, July 28 – after a lazy start we drove to “The Camp” on Lake Horace in

Poore-Turbyne Camp

Weare, NH.  Wow!  It is so cool to return to a place that I loved and had a great time at as a kid.  Nancy and I came here a dozen years ago.  Rich and I chilled a lot and then drove to Dawn Allison’s in Litchfield.  Bill and Hannah gave a tour of the house like last time adding all sorts of hilarious details.  I think this is our tradition now.  Then, home as dark was descending.

A classic Yankeeism, “Jim, tell me how to get to The Camp.”  “Oh, you will remember.”  “Well….”  “OK, take Route…..and when you are almost there, you will recognize it.  Turn at the ‘cohrnah whahre the stoahra’ used to be.”  Oh, thanks, Jim.  But, ironically, he was right!

Thursday, July 29 – Well, gravity grabbed us and held us down.  Up about six a.m.  By nine a.m. we had had a few cups of coffee and talked quietly and then not.  Finally, we did get out for a paddle on the Lake.  South breeze.  So, the shoulder didn’t feel that great.  About 4 p.m. we headed out past stands that sell “native” blueberries and corn.  Then, we wound our way out to Concord and to the Weathervane for dinner with the high school friends. Fish and Chips and Vinegar!  Yeah.  Wine and conversation lakeside in the late evening.

Friday, July 30 – A day of nostalgia, which was just fine.  We took little roads to Hillsborough and found the camp (not to be confused with The Camp) where I was

Cardinal Flower at the brook

counselor for three summers.  Sort of looks the same and yet, nature is taking over.  Turtle Stump, The Keep Out (for counselors only), Monkey House on top of the hill, and the splendid Cardinal Flower in the brook.

Over to Goffstown for coffee, a walk through the town past the popcorn stand, the library, the Church, the grocer, old schools and on to Grasmere and Mom and Dad’s grave.  Tender to see, but not sad.  OK.  Up Tibbetts Hill Road to Jane White’s.  She is so gracious and has such a pretty yard overlooking the Uncanoonuc Mountains.  Great lunch and then a tour of the Fallu property which once was the Fellows property!  How sweet of Lesley and Real to let us see the yard, the wedding nook, the house.  They have made wonderful changes and yet kept the integrity of the property.  They even have kept  little remnants of Mom and Dad – the birch

Manny and Rich on Rock where we were married

clump and the trees in the yard – including the blueberry patch, the woodstove and a palm frond and some note from Mom about a pipe under the cellar floor.

After much visiting – 24 people so far in 10 days! we went back to the Lake, had supper, and enjoyed Columbia Crest on the Lake and a short paddle and a skinny dip after dark.  Leaving will be sad as it has been such a blessing to be here and be able to venture out and return to a quiet spot here.  Waning moon, rising ever later is still bright and pretty.  Goodbye to Will’s Cottage, Jennifer’s Cottage, the Woodshed, the main Camp, the boathouse. 

The generosity the Turbynes have shown is what I grew up with.  They simply do nice things, include people, and open up their lives and homes to others.  Solid mentors for me as a kid and a precious reminder now of why I do certain things.  I just do, based on their model.

Saturday, July 31 – The month is at an end and so is our New England stay.  So much of this has been simple narrative and only at night do I remember the deeper quality.  To actually record it is difficult. 

We left early, went past Naulauka in Brattleboro, VT. and drove the mountain roads to NY and down the Taconic Parkway.  One eventful incident was when a crazy motorcyclist zoomed between us and a Target truck.  Gads!

Quiet on Cedar Lake.  Dan came in.  More starting for week seven.

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Saturday, July 17 – Yeah!  Deck finished!  One more major project and then done for a while.  Hot, but the car kept Carol Gorman and me cool to and from IC for the Book City Festival.  She guided me right in to a great parking place.  “I grew up in IC, remember?”  And, as we headed down the hill toward the River, I asked/said, “This is the hill that Chelsea and the Green Haired Kid rode down, isn’t it?”  How did I know that?

As we entered Shambuagh Auditorium, I heard my name and turned to see Sarah Patterson (joke about her being my daughter from church connections) and the Cutsforths behind us.  Earlier this week I mentioned thinking I am invisible.  Yeah, right. Especially when during Lamaze days you met up with a family you had taught in the O’Hare airport – the general big part, not the “bound-for-CR part.”  Invisible indeed.

Audrey Niffenegger , author of Time Traveler’s Wife, was an interesting speaker.

After her talk

Low key, but with some funny lines. Dressed in black, stunning auburn/Celtic red hair.  Skeletons were her passion as a kid and her website has an odd junction of a skeleton and a red-headed “Godiva” (her?). Was trained as a visual artist.

Some quotes/paraphrases:  In her new book, Her Fearful Symmetry, The character dies in the first sentence.  “That is a speed record even for me.” Quite a fascinating introduction that she read, so I will pick it up.

The intersection of reality and imagination.  Must anchor story in a real setting so people identify. And, as Carol and I talked on the way down, meaningful observation to details.  Audrey referred to the Newbery Library.  Same one where Emma works and where Sarah Nelson will spend time at this summer?

Highgate Cemetery is pretty wild to look at and “enter.”  Part of her story.

In graphic novels the artist leaves “spaces” for the reader to supply information and use imagination.  Balance a work of art with joy and sadness.  Be conscious and present.  (Good motto to live by).

When choosing a project think of what experience you can have associated with it.  Rich and I do this with writing.  What can we do when visiting areas?  With a given topic what else is out there of interest?

Six degrees of separation.  On the way down, Carol spoke of how she revises and sometimes says, “Oh, the reader does not need to know that.”  (Too much detail.)  I inserted, like Tolstoy and Anna Karenina? She laughed.  Boy we all read these books in high school and the tedious detail.  Yikes!  But, lovely stories.  So, Audrey referenced this exact author and book in her speech.  Wow!  Was our conversation, “Foreshadowing”?

When asked how she writes, she quipped, “I am Sister Chaos.”

“You get to a different place when you do it slow.” She allows herself to be “taken in a new direction.”  Sometimes her writing “got wiggier and wiggier.”  Great phrase!

When asked what she is working on now, she shared that she has been on tour for nine months, “So I am working on getting on planes.”

Carol and I were pretty starved at the end, so we went to a small cafe to eat and talk more.  Her courses at Coe College in gender issues, her writing, my love of Idaho, Dan’s work in NYC.  Then, at her home, views of the Rose of Sharon Tree.  So wonderful to connect again, although too rarely, with such a dear person.

So, this is the end of  the first half of summer break.  “Change-over” is what we called it at camp.  First half campers went home and second half arrived.  The rest of the summer takes on a different format and feel.   Busy but has been enjoyable so far.

Friday, July 16 – Oh, my did my shoulder ever hurt last night after using the crack filler for the drive because I press on the jug and bend over and the muscles all tighten and stay that way.  So, after one ibuprofen and then a second, I took two more.  By then I was loopy but could sleep.  Cortisone shot and massage, but not in that area as the medicine acts like “meat tenderizer.”  So Joan worked the neck, arm and back away from the shot.  Let’s hope this and physical therapy work.  Slow going.  Painted deck with primer.  Tomorrow before IC I’ll put on a top coat of paint.  Yes, lots to do and now is the time to do things – time and weather in my favor.  So, that is the way things are.

IC with Carol G should be fun to see the author of the Time Traveler’s Wife and Jane Smiley.

Hummingbirds sure slurp up the nectar and are not intimidated by the sander or people at all.  Carolina Wrens making nest in my Swedish Ivy.

Lilies are happy and I have a picture in mind of the entrance to Sand Ridge .  Also, the labyrinth is forming much more clearly in my mind.

Sauna time helps with clearing the mind and with letting ideas take form.

Thursday, July 15 – busy again with house projects.  Used the crack filler on drive.  wow!  does that impact my arm and shoulder.  Painted the living room trim.  Have decided that friends and chocolate are similar.  wonderful, refreshing, exhilarating at times, and too much too often is too much.

Thinking of the labyrinth out front and getting very excited.

Wednesday, July 14 – Wow!  A Kansas summer day – strong south winds – but with humidity.  Yuck!  Worked early on the drive, did sauna – good down time, although I didn’t need to sweat anymore; went to Kramer’s Flower Farm and looked at their fabulous lilies.  Came across three “must haves.”  Basically, when I do anything I think of people who might enjoy the activity or who just come to mind. i.e.  When I pass the sunflowers in the crack on 29th St SE I think of Mom who so enjoyed the sunflowers growing in the patio crack in Kennewick.  When, I see the pretty yellow waterlily I think of Anne S. who has a good eye and camera for pictures.  Galena brought to mind the Chicklets and things they like, even a funny statue for Rich he would enjoy.  Today, Dave explained the names of the lilies and pointed out “Malachai.”  Well, I know a little guy named Malachai whose birthday is in two weeks.  So, I bought a lily and got it to his mom, who I had at KCC as a student.  Then, Dave pointed out a pretty one, saying Sue really liked these when she sees them at Burger King.  So, he said, “Steal one.” Well she found them legitimately so she didn’t have to.  But, they call the lily, whose real name is “Pardon Me” “Burger King.”  I thought of LS who buys a pop and fries there and where I find interesting rocks.  She of the vegetarian mode.  Then, Dave introduced me to “Cinnamon Roll.”  Well, between the two – Burger King and Cinnamon Roll, which is LS favorite food, I think, I decided to get one each.

Her husband, JG, once said, “When I found out she was vegetarian, I thought she ate healthy food.”  I replied that was my impression, too.  Then, we both learned at different times of course, she loves junky food!  Well, this cinnamon roll she can look at and JG can enjoy the Burger King.  Well, Pardon Me.

Visited scout camp today.  Hot but a great tour!

Tuesday, July 13 – Nicer day for weather.  Got ready for staff/board picnic.  What a nice group of people came!  The kids had fun watching and feeding the chickens and were amazed at how Summer Bunny and Jumping Bean tag-team the digging project.  Colton measured the tunnel and figured it goes under the fence.  If they dig up, we are in trouble as they will escape.  Tamara and Margaret commented about the movie Chicken Run and how we should make Chicken Run II where the chickens and rabbits team up to escape!

Pulled weeds from the cracks in the drive in preparation for sweeping and applying the filler in the cracks.

Physical Therapy working on the shoulder.  Mary Beth at Sisters helps to stretch the joint.  Gettin’ there.

Monday, July 12 – Oh ennui! Muggy, foggy, like a New England day.  A sudden downpour dropped four inches at our house.  My poor herb garden is drowned.  I did exercise, set up saunas for the next several days, did

A rare event in Iowa

P.T. and didn’t cry after from hurting.   Then, made pies for tomorrow, organized downstairs and found some wonderful rocks that I didn’t realize were in the boxes from Mom.  Oh, well, there will be another time for geology. Wow, I am really tired, though, so I napped, read. Later Rich and I went to the welcoming of Abby ? (didn’t get the last name) of Cultural Allianace at Cedar Ridge Winery.  Quite nice.

Rich is disgusted that Sunland area SE near Indian Creek maneuvered to have a dike put in.  More water will be sent faster downstream.  No care for communal action.  It’s all about “me.”

This picture above elicits the poem by Carl Sandburg, “Fog.”

THE fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.

Sunday, July 11.  Sluggish day.  Hard to breathe.  No O2 I am sure of it.  Slo Mo cleaning, but it is done.  The mystery I am reading is too scary for me.  Maybe I’ll forgo the rest and get into something less stressful.  I would be a good “Cowardly Lion” in Wizard of Oz.  Later neighbors with four little kids came by to see the chickens and bunnies.  Nice family.

Adele called.  This is a hard week.  Frank died two years ago on the 8th, his first wife many years ago on the 14th, and Mom three years ago on the 16th.  Then, she had to put down her little dog, Lexie, last year in July.  A new generation of children is coming along, and remembering our elders is important and more, their lives and how they influenced us.

A sudden rain that last an hour and a half, cleared the air.  Hummingbirds and turkeys are back foraging.

While shopping, S. at customer service stopped me and said, “Since it is quiet here, I am going to tell you a story.”  Then, she relayed how we know each other going way back to Gayla and Mike Newmeister days!  I guess we went to their house to check her out for a sitter.  “I hope you passed muster,” I exclaimed, quite embarrassed.  “Oh yes.”  And, I always think I am so invisible.  But, so many people seem to know me and have run into me.  Yikes!

I heard the Owl call my name last night. Hmmm.  Wasn’t LS But, I recall hearing a thrush a few days before Mom died while up in the incredible mountains of Wyoming.  It was almost like that. Or I am imagining because I am thinking of her.

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Christmas 2008


It was meant to be! We arranged to fly to NYC on Christmas Day. That is often a good day to travel. Because AA faced low passenger census on this direct non-stop flight, we followed our travel agent’s hint and took a chance to go out the day ahead to see if we could arrange to fly Christmas Eve for less than an arm and a leg. Good fortune for us! Margaret could watch the animals and house sooner than we had originally agreed on. And, Roy with AA, served us and arranged a change of tickets for a great price, so we called the Pattersons and told them we would be in earlier. Off we went. Interesting clouds entertained me until the cover was too thick to pick up differences.

Arriving in NYC LGA ahead of time, we caught a taxi to Times Square. Wow! It was alive with action in the mild evening. We bought a soft pretzel, wended our way toward the Port Authority and caught a bus through the fog to Denville.

What fun to have Dan, Nancy, Claire, Henry, Rich and me together. We visited, admired Nancy’s and Claire’s decorations and the sweet little tree – top to the shrub out front! Nancy had asked about the decorations as she put them up. After dinner and more visiting, people went off to bed and Nancy and I drove to the church for bells and Christmas Eve service. It was very welcoming, lots of people greeting each other in Italian and English. The minister welcomed all and explained the service. For communion he invited all to partake in the celebration. How lovely! The music was lovely, the hymns classic versions of the “golden oldies” and the lessons from the most revered of the Christmas stories. Light from the street shown through the stained glass window and was accented by the shadow of tree limbs. Very special time.

Having agreed ahead that we would minimize “material gifts” on Christmas Day we shared a few presents. Dan had bought a beautiful table runner of rich purple and gold that he bought while in Dubai. Nancy had created a fun cookbook for me with funny comments. The Pattersons had a few items, but their main gift was helping with flights and bus passes. Very thoughtful. Tom and Mary sent a wonderful note and generous contribution to the Nature Center. Then, a walk, later a ham dinner, beginning the annual puzzle, and a nap. Dan left late afternoon to return to The City.

Friday we visited with the Holfords nearby and did Denville in the afternoon. Such good friends for the Pattersons and for us to keep in touch with. Mara’s cafe with the gelato and great hot drinks, Sergios, Viking, the yarn shop, The Denville Smoke Shop, Anthony’s bakery. Amazing! Sausages…olives…pastries…pastas…breads…oh my! “Anthony and the Bread Factory!”

Saturday we were off to NYC. Catch the pictures on Flickr. Oh the excitement! How and why The City works is unknown. But, it does work. We walked Times Square, stopped at the M and M store, past Rockefeller Center and Radio Music Hall and St. Patrick’s Cathedral. The line at MoMA was too long, so we ditched the idea of the Van Gogh exhibition, and caught the train to the Lower East Side and the Tenement Museum. Busy! But, they accepted Rich’s press card from OWAA, so we enjoyed the walking tour for not much cost. At one point I felt really creeped out and didn’t want to step on cracks, vaguely thinking I could step on a sharp. Then, Rich pointed out two needles lying on the sidewalk right by a school. Gads!

The tour guide, Adam, was excellent as he told the story of immigration, row houses to tenement buildings to projects. A re-curring theme “…there was a problem.” He pointed out places where films had been made – “Crossing Delancy” and “The Devil Wears Prada.” so interesting.

Then, we met Dan in Brooklyn by the Metro Tech Center and walked to his new digs in Brooklyn Heights. Very neat. The Promenade is close, Montague Street with its shops, eateries, and history. We ate at a wonderful Indian Restaurant and then took a walk to a coffee shop as Nancy and Dan talked.

The train cross town is quick – on a Saturday!

Sunday Pattersons had relatives in with lots of talk as Nancy and i worked on the puzzle. Cousins joined in solving this really hard one! Theresa is a marvel at figuring these out!
Nancy and I walked around the Lake and did the Labyrinth at the north end of the Lake. Clouds proved “grey on grey.” Marie and Jack came with food galore, so we warmed up a meal and ate late. Then, with Nancy’s encouragement to continue a tradition she and I have had, we listened to her read “Why The Chimes Rang” and read in round robin, “A Child’s Christmas in Wales.” So, we kept our tradition and extended it to others, as we began to last year. Very nice evening.

Monday, we took in another Denville eatery “Doc’s” with outstanding whole grain pancakes with sunflowers and a touch of almond flavoring. Rich and Nancy walked up Bald Hill and brought back a pudding stone. Then, off to the bus as Nancy was going to meet Karissa, overnight and leave early Tuesday for the west. Another walk on the Lake and a nice dinner and conversation.

A poor night of sleep in anticipation of getting to the bus very early. Always some tension when having to part. All connections on time, smooth flying and a warm return to Iowa. Took care of the bunnies, looked over mail, and prepared for a small New Year’s Eve with friends here. Remarkable that all this works so well. A blessed trip indeed.

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