Posted in Alaska, Learning from living, Lessons, Reflections on February 4, 2013 | Leave a Comment »
“Journeys bring power and love back into you. If you cannot go somewhere, move in the passages of the self.
They are like shafts of light, always changing, and you change when you explore them. ” -Rumi
A quote from Rumi read to the audience at New Bo Books Friday when Scott Peters presented his experiences traveling into remote places – both geographically, emotionally, and philosophically. You came to mind right away! The journey is yours. M
Posted in Healing Energy, hope, Learning from living, Lessons, Spirituality, Yearning, tagged dark night of the soul, Mary Swander on January 3, 2013 | Leave a Comment »
Suddenly I was done with The Desert Pilgrim, En Route to Mysticism and Miracles by Mary Swander. How odd since I only read a few pages a night and had to start by re-reading several prior paragraphs. Long have I known and enjoyed Mary’s works and talks. Finally, I formally met her in August 2012 at Solstead with Mary Ann and Chuck Peters. Following are some references that struck me and know that without writing them down, will vanish from my memory. The main characters are Lu, an herbalist healer, Father Sergei, a Christian Crypto-Jew, and Mary.
* pg 83. Dismissal of the Midwest as flat and uninteresting. Completely the opposite! “I have lived in that so-called flatness long enough to have a feel for the contours, the slight rises in the land, the dips and dives of a place capable of supporting so many living things.”
* pg 85. “Fear gets you nowhere. Fear is merely a lack of faith in God.” (Later something about despair)
* pg 91 “…here was a woman helping to restore the role of women healers, of women’s place in the original scheme of spirituality.”
* pg 105-106. “I like what Buddhism has to say about our particular garden paths,” Father Sergei said. “If you want to know about the present, look to the past. If you want to know about the future, look to the present.”
* pg 144. “You must invite creativity and joy back into your life.”
* pg 145. “We have to look at all of life symbolically.”
* pg 166-167. Hildegard of Bingen – Love was compassion. “She blended her interest in science and the natural world together with art and religion.”
* pg 182. on Acceptance by Lu: “Sometimes it takes a while, but the sooner you get to acceptance, the better.”
*pg 188. on illness and St. Francis, born to a wealthy merchant family, who loved parties, and who in illness became great. Fr. Sergei, “Oh, yes, you must honor illness. It gives us time for reflection. As hard as it is, it helps us sort out our priorities. I know there’s nothing worse than someone telling you, ‘This illness of your is a gift.’ No, it’s painful and discouraging. It’s not a gift, but it is a time to pull back and take a closer look at one’s life.” (True of many aspects of loss.)
pg 193. The struggle for hope. “St. Francis wanted a brotherhood….”
pg 194. on Mystery: Fr. Sergei. “The more we know of the world through science and our sophisticated technology, the more we know of mystery. We are so uncomfortable with mystery. We want to know things for facts, to nail things down. I’m here to tell you to embrace mystery and let it be.” (Pay attention, Mrs. Patterson!)
pg 196. The Dark Night of the Soul.
pg 213. Longing for Joy.
pg 225. Fr. Sergei on finding yourself. “Someday you will discover yourself, what purpose you have on earth.”
pg 228. Fr. Sergei on the journey: “…remember that all of life is one big pilgrimage – ….” “When you’re on the spiritual path, you’re on the right road. Have faith you’re on the right road.”
pg 234. Fr. Sergei on pain to heal to faith.
pg 235. Fr Sergei on religiosity and spirituality: “To be religious means that you engag in a certain ritual toward a certain deity….But to be spiritual means that you connect with the energy that holds you to the earth.”
pg 242. Remembering without re-living. (This is the task before me and many others. We might remember, but we do not have to re-live. Release cellular memory)
pg 255. Detachment…mysticism and symbolism.
pg 256. Interior prayer. (thinking of Merlin’s Glasses TW!)
In the culminating chapter Mary Swander eloquently wraps up and reveals lessons she has learned. “Be not perplexed, Be not afraid, Everything passes, God does not change. Patience wins all things. He who has God lacks nothing; God alone suffices.” St. Teresa of Avila.
Posted in Healing Energy, Kindnesses, Labyrinth, Learning from living, Lessons, Reflections, Reiki, Spirituality, Uncategorized on December 18, 2012 | Leave a Comment »
The writing is not polished. They are simply my rough notes.
I decided to stay home late afternoon after day two of an invigorating and interesting workshop. Initially, I felt pretty guilty of breaking the appointment I had for later afternoon. Suddenly, I knew I was to contact friends but could not find the email addresses. So, I called. How grateful I am to Universe to have helped me with awareness and the knowledge to “just do it.” We had a good talk and the measure of comfort that I could offer was well received. I still find it curious that I just know sometimes. But, from this summer’s “wax on-wax off” practice I’m better at responding to the “knowings.”
The polarized comments connected with the shootings in Connecticut are predictable. Only one other person seems to have “got it” when I said, “But for the grace of God go you and I.” I do not believe any of the people who have committed violent acts are inherently “evil.” (A term popularized by the second Bush administration and designed to create “us and them” feelings. That term needs to be retired.) Circumstances in people’s lives have accumulated and their resources diminished so they snapped and indeed did heinous acts. But, “unthinkable”? No. Just think about how we are bombarded with bad news in all media, how children are allowed to watch violent movies and TV shows and play violent video games, how politicians demean each other in public, how radio personalities swear and rant about what they do not like, how novels and non-fiction tomes explicitly describe crimes and how adults in institutions of all sorts push, shove, and bully workers and children. And, we think these acts are “unthinkable”?
I believe that answers have more to do with how we treat people each day than in more laws, more controls, more….
Our friends whose child died a number of years ago, echoed what just was spoken on TV by families in the UK who have experienced a similar tragedy as Connecticut: That grief is a long process, that people grieve in different ways, that the wound re-opens when a similar tragedy happens, that they appreciate being remembered because most people, “move on” and seem not to recognize that wounds are forever.
Today in class today, a table-mate shared from a previous class on grief that she had taken, that some random thought, piece of music, or event can create a “grief burst”. But, I try to keep in mind that while I (we) might remember, we do not have to relive the event. However, this takes time.
So, where am I? A colleague, in an email, provided helpful insight that I am practicing: “If you walk the labyrinth everyday you will know soon what your role is in assisting the healing in Ct. The labyrinth is who you are and what you do. Not to deny Reiki in any way.”
Today, before class I left Sisters Health Club early, bumped into a friend who is struggling with health, so tried to re-assure her, and then drove to the Regis Labyrinth.
The experience: I pulled the earth toned shawl over my head to shield from the raw SW wind. Damp and grey skies settled in. Temperatures in the mid-30s. I picked up a pebble by the entry – a modified Jewish and Christian tradition of putting stones and rocks on graves. Never looking at it, I walked with my feather and the pebble. The small bricks along the path caught my eye: Pray…Instruct…Patience…Comfort…Forgive. In the center I stood looking out over the tree line, the school building and up to the cross at Mt. Mercy University Chapel. Only when I placed the pebble did I notice it, picked it up again, and took pause as the message revealed itself. It was about a quarter inch thick and two inches wide, tan on the outside, rounded and sheared off on one edge. Inside were noticeable black and white crystals.
The Reflection: This pebble is worn, fractured. The other pieces are gone, never to be found again. It is incomplete. But, by being fractured, the interior is revealed. Only through experiences do we find elements within of strength, compassion that can help us find answers, move through, grow, share, and become more “whole” even in our brokenness. This thought seemed to be “an answer” and the “conclusion” . But, I am unsure about the middle, so will continue to walk as suggested.
“It is such a secret place, the land of tears.” The Little Prince. Antoine de Saint Exupéry
Let us move to compassion. “Be more kind than is necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle.”
Posted in Autumn, Eagles, Faulkes Woods, Healing Energy, Labyrinth, Learning from living, Lessons, philosophy, Reiki, Yearning, tagged growth periods, organizing a home, reiki attunements on December 1, 2012 | Leave a Comment »
Well tumultuous to say the least. Why the return of emotions and physical symptoms from two years ago? Interesting the Reiki attunements and sessions and the growth periods can cause so much “dis-ease”. One author penned that just like with re-organizing a home, if someone should visit during the process and see the disarray, that person could be inclined to think, ‘This person keeps a messy home.’ But, after the process is finished, then the home looks and feels sparkly and lovely. So, maybe the same with “re-organizing” or “re-directing” a life.
Reiki Knowings both in sauna and at home: (These came before I talked with WTD). Connect and heal people and the earth. (The vision was of House Speaker Boehner and President Obama but they represent humanity. And, behind them was Earth.)
White dewdrops from upper right flowing gently across my consciousness. Followed by intense Indigo of knowing. The path may not be clear to me but as Universe revealed to WTD when she walked the Labyrinth once, that does not mean (we are) I am on the wrong path. Be present where I am now. A major role I play is to connect people.
Conversation with WTD: I expressed that I feel I have no purpose, want a job more for the heart than the $$ but the latter, too, to feel I am contributing. She said that her read is: I am a long way from when we first met. (Agreed) That I artfully and purposefully “dabble” which is positive. (Like a painting I fill in different areas perhaps.) I connect people, help them make things happen. She reference intelligence – well, I just think differently and see seemingly disparate connections, which indeed often do exist. She believes one of my totems is the eagle – flies high, sees from afar and way ahead of others. I explained how it seems that Rich and I are ahead of our times. i.e. natural landscaping, woodland management via fire, whole foods, living simply,living organic, managing finances, prepared childbirth, the chicken projects, buying American, water management, human rights – gay and birth. And that people can sometimes be too far out front and the concept not accepted. Then, the concept, idea, practice catches on. It is Linda Hanson’s “Hundredth Monkey.” It takes a certain mass before a practice is the norm. When we did the crystal grid she suggested my intention be to be open to receiving and manifesting that which is my highest soul goal. (paraphrasing here). She worked the sacral (shadow self and fear) and solar plexus (personal power) chakras. Suggested I walk to the Reiki Log in Faulkes Woods. So, Thursday I did.
First scared up the turkeys as they came to feast. Those wild and wary birds! Then, the deer bolted. From the top of the first ridge the view back to the house is re-assuring. Down into the deep woods where the animals have turned over the leaves in search of food, which is scarce. Makes me think of our society. Some areas have many acorns but most areas have few or none. So, the majority of animals are struggling. Only a few woodpeckers called the alarm as I passed by. When I stood still, the animals and woods accepted my presence. H.D. Thoreau and John Muir both write about this.
I didn’t want to look for feathers so stayed on the top of the ridge above Indian Creek. Everything felt neutral. Approaching Reiki Log I looked ahead to the eagle nest but didn’t see anything. Repositioning myself, a slender tree with fresh and deep scars stood silent sentinel. I really knew the eagle nest tree was gone even before I entered the woods and this confirmed. Then, walking over to it, fresh droppings under other trees, fur balls, and a huge hole in the forest canopy brought home the demise of the the tree and nest that the eagles had called home for three summers. Taking pictures of the destruction and evidence that the eagles still hang around I wondered if animals like people feel disoriented when their lives change dramatically. And, what are the choices? Perseverate long after the stimulus is gone; quickly move on or away without examining the situation and possible causes and options; linger, mourn, work through emotions and then move in new directions. And what else? So, looking for clarity but remembering Indigo Girls “Closer to Fine.”
I’m trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
The best thing you’ve ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it’s only life after all
Well darkness has a hunger that’s insatiable
And lightness has a call that’s hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I’m crawling on your shore.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a B-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind, got my paper
And I was free.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.
To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as I’d been the night before
I went in seeking clarity.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
We go to the bible, we go through the workout
We read up on revival and we stand up for the lookout
There’s more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine
*Two horoscopes I posted to FB: “Carry the torch of greatness. Don’t let small problems stop you from achieving your goals.” “A clear vision of the future opens up. Access your confident side.” Pay attention, Mrs. Patterson!
*What Does Science Say About Wise Women Healers?
We are actually wired neurologically as “receivers”-this is particularly true for women. What this means is that we are attentive to the nuances of voice, expression, sight, and sound around us which registers in our bodies as feelings and sensation, health and illness. I am talking about the sixth sense that speaks to us regularly in dreams, “knowings,” flashes of insight or feelings. Men can and do develop these sensitivities but for women they are a natural gift of our gender.
Read the entire article…
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1319494
*Felt very unnerved and then saw this from WTD: “Use this intention today to support a powerful unfolding since the Eclipse. ‘It is my soul purpose intention to experience and express the complete alignment of my mental body, emotional body, physical body, and energetic bodies by bringing forth the highest vibrations of authenticity, truth, courage, creativity, compassion and self-love. I now choose to release all attachment to my personality, identity, patterns, behaviors and beliefs for a more expansive expression of my Divine Essence and of higher service to my soul’s evolutionary trajectory that supports the connection and healing of humanity and the earth. I Am in the right place in right timing, always and in all ways.’ So Be It.”
My reply was: “OK. I do have to say, though, I just saw this post. Around 8:30 a.m. I almost called to say, “Stop!” Incoming was powerful, unidentified and thus, unnerving. But, I mostly held it to the positive. And, in the sauna right after doing Reiki (That kumbaba rock(jasper) is really heavy and never got hot! Stayed cool, which was nice on the temple) The Universe had me feel the power between my hands and visualize the people {Mr. Boehner and Obama in particular} and the earth. This is what I am supposed to do. Working to be present and OK with that.” Her reply, “Good job, Mrs. Patterson. Hugs.” OK, stay present and what I feel can be positive energy coming in.
Indigo Girls: “The less I seek my source for some definitive….the closer I am to fine.” Be present, Mrs. Patterson
Posted in 1080 30th St Dr, Autumn, Faith, Hiking, Learning from living on September 29, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
Not many creatures like the wind. The bunnies get totally sketched out, the chickens come inside, turkeys vanished and even the English sparrows have given up feeding. One exception is the downy woodpecker hanging on to the swinging suet. Nice color has fallen. An odd day, indeed.
I will say, though, that in late afternoon I decided to walk in the wild, windy woods and what a great time I had! leaves falling, and walnuts, too. Ouch! Deer skittish and ran off. Some nice bucks. I found a delicate feather from perhaps a heron near the creek and then a treasure trove of turkey feathers under the trees where they roost. Such fun picking them up and thinking of the people with whom I plan to share them. On to the eagle nest, which is surprisingly hard to find. On the way back I picked up an owl pellet I will get to Amy for her children. Perhaps the wind blew some of the yucky stuff from me that is sticking from the “mean girl” group and all their issues. I am working so hard at resolution. Too bad that when people themselves are stressed they often turn on another instead of all pulling together.
But the day was a good one. Positive. Productive. Some humor. Thank you Universe.
Posted in Learning from living, tagged August on August 21, 2010 |
Posted in Learning from living, PSU, Reflections, Sense of place, The East, The East, travel on August 8, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
Sunday, August 8 – We are home and hardly able to move! Jet lag? Visiting fatigue? Not enough caffeine? Rich managed energy to mow the horseshoe. I cleaned the house, paid bills, and measured and annotated a picture of the
Manny walks S and R labyrinth to carefully place a special rock from Claire in the pattern.
horseshoe to send to Richard H. so he can calculate the measurements for the labyrinth.
Pictures of our trip on Flickr.com.
A few rememberings: * A quiet thrill to see the late summer plants so familiar to me that Daddy taught me to recognize and love. Indian pipes; checker berry or
Daddy showed me the fragrant winter green leaf. How to crush it and smell the aroma and to eat the leaf.
wintergreen with its glossy leaf and refreshing aroma; trillium, and sweet fern and hard hack, Cardinal flower. * Viewing the southern White Mountains from Mt. Stinson, and the valley of the Pemigewasset River that flows past Plymouth State University; * The familiar style homes that ramble on and on – white clapboard, cedar shake, brick, stone; * The rhythm of the days visiting with familiar friends, a lovely and perceptive niece and her family; * Antiques; *Brooks and tea colored but clear water in the rivers.; * Rocks along the ocean and in the streams, and on sandy beaches; *
View to the Ocean
Our best times were on the water – walking the sandy beaches at Reid State Park and then scrambling the rocks there so familiar to me. And, is this the setting of the painting done by Great Granny Alcock that I had re-framed and is hanging in our living room? Wading in the relatively warm and very low waters of Swift River on the Kancamagus Highway, splashing in Stinson Brook and hearing that word again, “brook.” I love it! Watching the Pemigewasset River and remembering how filthy it used to be and how clean it is now. The little brook at Hillsboro Camp. Lake Horace where I learned to swim, canoe, row, water ski. Mist on the Lake. Canoeing the Lake. Crossing the Connecticut River and finding Naulauka outside Brattleboro, VT. Cedar Lake – canoeing, swimming. The Rariton River. * Watching the cormorant that lounged all day on the rocks, circled the lake in the early evening, alighted on the dead branch above the beach for the evening, and glided back to the rocks in the morning. * Revisiting my childhood and young adult places – New Boston,
One of my many childhood homes
Hillsboro Camp, Plymouth State, Lake Horace, Goffstown – this was pleasant and not disturbing. * The variety of foods from various ethnic cuisines. * The languages we heard. *Being part of the Italian and Cedar Lake community – bussing on the cheek and full mouth contact depending and all done with respect and joy.
What I learned: My intolerance. I hit the wall with too much visiting. Very Introverted and private! How poorly people listen and discuss. Most take a comment as an opportunity to launch into what they want to talk about. People base their comments and decisions on old information and what they think they know, but not on facts or current information. How discouraged I get when the first words out of a person’s mouth are consistently a negative, instead of “tell me more” or “let’s think about this.” How I love the college setting. And, most important – I had re-affirmed the role model with which I grew up – being generous to and with others. The Poores and Turbynes guided me, played with
Where I learned to swim, canoe, water ski, and share love.
me, re-affirmed my thinking, and showed me how to be generous with no thought of their return. I found this message on a note at Susan and Jim’s home which relates to them in their first year without their lovely daughter, Jennifer: “Perhaps in my sorrow, I can reach out to others.” Susan and Jim are that all around.
Monday, August 9 – A flashy storm awoke me in the night and a vicious headache pierced the right side of my brain. Gotta love Iowa and the low pressure systems…or not. Early morning my mind has cleared out and as I begin to awaken from deeper sleep, thoughts float past my consciousness and at the time they seem worthy of more reflection. Yet, by the time I am awake, fix coffee, turn on the computer and actually sit down…they are either gone or have diminished to vague impressions. So, maybe they were not so important, but something deep inside indicates that they were valuable insights to process.
A deep yearning, sense of loss stirs within. But relationships and living are what they are. How much can we influence our direction and consequence? Our response to life we can determine. The movie “Northern Lights” – rather superficial about a murder in Alaska – did have one line that caught my attention. “Guilt is exhausting.” So, with that, I’ll work on not taking responsibility for all things out there. And, as Susan H. laughed, “We can learn from this.”
I also know that while I invest a lot, perhaps too much, in others or a job at a certain point I simply walk away. I have learned that when I am consistently more committed and doing more than the other party balance is lacking and I make myself too vulnerable. So, I have learned that some experiences are that and make decisions to disengage and move on. And, I try to recall (is it from The Little Prince?) to the effect that a friend or situation no matter the betrayal has given me something. Too early in the morning for this s**t. I’m not really gloomy this is just what is coming out. OK, OK. Stop.
Tuesday, august 10 – Moratorium.
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